Arkansas Online

Bob Dole

His pointed asides

On seeing former presidents Jimmy Carter, Gerald Ford and Richard Nixon together at some official reception one evening, Bob Dole was supposed to have said: “There they are. See no evil, hear no evil . . . and evil.”

THEY SAY the death of an old man is no tragedy. And, just for the record, Bob Dole should have never made it to 98 years old. Being in the 10th Mountain Division, naturally he’d be sent to Italy in 1945. A German artillery round should have ended his life in April of that year—only days before the Nazi surrender. The story goes that Bob Dole’s fellow soldiers could only look at him, and give him enough morphine to keep him comfortable. For the shell had shattered him. Lt. Dole lay in the dirt, thinking both his arms were gone.

He was paralyzed for a while and worked his way back into life. Which took doing. Left without the use of his right arm, he had to learn to walk, bathe and write again. But the German shell that should have ended his life only detoured it. He put a pen into his right hand to keep from embarrassing those who’d reach to shake his hand. And then went to work.

As a hero of battle, middle America elected him to represent a district in Congress, then onto the U.S. Senate. Where he would become one of its giants, and one of the most powerful men in the world.

Once upon a time, Republican politicians took turns at the nomination for president. And as it turns out, 1996 was Bob Dole’s turn. He wasn’t a very likeable candidate, to understate matters, but maybe only because he was up against one of the most likeable American politicians to ever hold the elbow of a voter. When you’re measured, politically, with a 1990s-era Bill Clinton, you’d have to expect to come up well short. Nobody knew the pulse of the American public better.

Lt., U.S. Rep., and Sen. Dole was unfortunate enough to have his turn at the exact wrong time. But over the years, he was actually interesting to cover. And it didn’t matter if his party was in power in Washington, or whether he led the minority.

You’d never know it by the media coverage in 1996, but Bob Dole had a wicked sense of humor.

MAYBE if Bob Dole had shown a little more sense of humor in 1996 he would have . . . . Oh, who are we kidding? Bill Clinton still would have overwhelmed him. Bob Dole was a better soldier, senator, manager, fixer, Kansan and American than he was a presidential nominee.

“You hear Gingrich’s staff has these five file cabinets, four big ones and one little tiny one,” he told The New York Times Magazine sometime back in the 1990s. “No. 1 is ‘Newt’s Ideas.’ No. 2, ‘Newt’s Ideas.’ No. 3, No. 4, ‘Newt’s Ideas.’ The little one is ‘Newt’s Good Ideas.’”

Sen. Dole was a heavyweight, and unfortunately showed off his best stuff only after the camera lights turned off. When the mics were hot, he’d talk about himself in the third person, and make for the perfect foil on SNL. The man served his country, in some form or another, for 79 years. But he never connected in the ’96 campaign. He had his biggest impact on politics in the U.S. Senate, where he herded all those cats for decades.

“If we had known we were going to win control of the Senate, we’d have run better candidates.’’

When they talk about the Greatest Generation in America, they talk about Bob Dole’s generation. They grew up when times were hard. Went off to foreign lands to defeat fascism. Some didn’t come back whole. Then went to work building the country into a super power.

Politicians of his generation, it should be noted, had their fair share of knockdown, drag-outs. But they also knew how to work together for important causes. And how to allow elections to end, once the people had spoken. And then to work for a year or two to pass legislation until the next election season rolled around. The way it should be. Bob Dole’s party worked with the Democrats on Social Security reform and the Americans With Disabilities Act, among many, many other things. And then went back to partisan politics when the time was right.

“I, Robert J. Dole, do solemnly swear . . . Oh, sorry, wrong speech.” (Accepting a Presidential Medal of Freedom from President Bill Clinton in 1997.)

“By all rights,” Tom Daschle said in 2000, “he and I should have had a lousy relationship.” Sen. Daschle was the top Democrat during one of Bob Dole’s stints as majority leader. “The fact that we did not was due to Bob Dole—to his civility, to his pragmatism, to his quick wit and self-effacing humor, and to his love of this country and to this United States Senate. His sense of fairness and decency is a standard for which everyone in public life should aim.”

According to the papers, John McCain used to tell a story about a dinner the Republicans had with President Clinton during his administration. Somebody asked if the president had read a murder mystery written by some politician, and the Man From Hope said yes he had, but noted that it was a Democratic senator who got murdered in the book.

“Yeah,” Sen. Dole said out loud. “It has a happy ending.”

And a good time was had by all. Nowadays, such a comment would be paraded on social media and some cable TV shows as some sort of encouragement of violence. Stuff and nonsense. It was Bob Dole being Bob Dole, and he could read an audience and their senses of humor, presidents included.

At his death this week, even The New York Times wrote an entire sidebar about the humor of Bob Dole. It was a pleasure to read. And reminded some of us when folks could showcase their wit, without triggering the mob’s tender feelings.

After the election in 1996, David Letterman asked Bob Dole to come on the show. After the introduction onto the set, David Letterman deadpanned: “Bob, what have you been doing lately?”

“Apparently not enough,” Bob Dole re-deadpanned.

He was a hit that night. And only a few nights too late.

Rest in peace. At last, all pointed asides are . . . now aside.

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2021-12-08T08:00:00.0000000Z

2021-12-08T08:00:00.0000000Z

https://edition.arkansasonline.com/article/282454237284419

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